Charging Tortoise Mode: The iPhone 15 charges at the speed of a sloth on a leisurely stroll. You plug it in, and then you wait. And wait. And wait some more. By the time it’s fully charged, you’ve aged a year. Forget about quick top-ups; this phone laughs in the face of urgency.
Color Boredom: Apple’s color choices for the 15 Pro Max are as exciting as watching paint dry. Silver, space gray, and gold—yawn! Where’s the neon green? The cosmic purple? The unicorn sparkle? Nope, just the same old hues that your grandma’s rotary phone had. Revolutionary, right?
Customization? Nah.: iOS 17 might have added a sprinkle of customization, but it’s like giving a caged bird a slightly bigger cage. You can rearrange icons, change wallpapers, and… well, that’s about it. Want widgets? Too bad! Want to theme your entire phone? Dream on! Apple’s motto: “Uniformity is bliss.”
The Enigma Button: Ah, the mysterious “Action” button! What does it do? One thing. Just one. Press it, and it opens the calculator. That’s it. No shortcuts, no magic spells, no secret passages to Narnia. It’s like having a Swiss Army knife with only the toothpick—you know it’s there, but it’s not exactly saving the day.
Price Tag: Ouch!: The iPhone costs more than a small moon. Seriously, you could buy a decent used car for the same price. But hey, at least the car won’t judge you for taking too many selfies. The starting price feels like a down payment on a unicorn stable.
In summary, the iPhone 15 is a paradox: a beautifully crafted device that simultaneously frustrates and dazzles. If you’re willing to overlook its quirks, it’ll serve you well. Just don’t expect it to charge faster than a snail on vacation.
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