I won’t be getting a Galaxy Z Fold 5 and Samsung is to blame for that

My laptop is dusty. Like, really dusty. It has dust betwixt the keys and around the buttons, it has dust on all of the corners of the screen and even around the sticker I’ve placed on top of the camera hole (because, no Zuck, you can't see me naked).

“Good God, man, do you not clean your tech?” I hear you ask with vigor and angst!

And yes, I do. It’s just that in my region, with its dry weather and the fact that my apartment happens to be positioned neatly between a field and one of the busiest roads in the area, it’s fairly difficult to not have dust everywhere. And let me tell you, having two cats doesn’t help much either.

1 cute little jump = a quintillion dust particles summoned from the ether

But we’re not here to talk about that, even though you’d all probably read a 1500 word article on my cats too. And while that would be nice, I’m here to talk about how much I want to replace my laptop with a Galaxy Z Fold 5: one of the best foldable phones on the market… allegedly.

But why would I want to do that? Well, it’s simple: Samsung really has a good reason to boast about this being the best phone for enterprise customers. It is, because, in fact, the phone is indeed the best work phone that you can have.

I used to be into management and a lot of my friends are still a part of that scene. Some of them have moved on to having a Z Fold phone, dedicated to work, which allowed them to get everything done, on the go and without the need of a PC. And I just love that so much.

The OS is tweaked to support numerous features based around productivity and multitasking. The phone is also big enough on its own to get things done, but when you need to, you can plug in some peripherals for a dual-screen desktop experience.

Oh, and obviously, with those monstrous specs, it can handle a lot of that without any issues. Oh, and — extra obviously — it doesn’t take as much space as a friggin' laptop and I can literally tuck it away in a cupboard while off work. And I just love that so, so much!

And poof! Just like that, the laptop dust problem would be gone too! Actually, not really. Let’s explain how that is confusing and makes sense at the same time!

See, there’s this little issue that prevents me from doing that. Samsung literally doesn’t want to take my money. Because, quite honestly, I can’t even begin to imagine why a foldable phone, released in 2023 can’t have a proper IP protection that includes being dustproof.

Yes, yes. I’m aware of the existence of the (all hail the) hinge and how it mandates half the features — and most of the battery life, to an extent — of every foldable. But since when is that an actual excuse? We’ve had foldables around for five iterations.

And do you know how many iterations it took Samsung to release its first flagship with a proper IP rating? Well, sit tight and allow me to draw a few lines that probably don’t mean anything but still make sense due to — what is most likely just a — coincidence.

A short investigation into the application of IP ratings on smartphones:

Let's imagine it’s 2010. I don’t know what was going on, because I was busy having a childhood and being seriously concerned with getting Yugi's grandpa back from the shadow realm. Still, through the power of my fingers and thanks to the bills that I’ve paid, a quick Google search shows that the Moto Defy was released then.

Said Motorola phone is allegedly the first proper smartphone with an IP67 rating. That made the phone impervious to any objects bigger than 1mm — which is a form of dust proofness — and then also capable of sitting in a clearwater pond for up to 30 minutes. Now that was a phone that had a chill factor!

Anyway, after that came and went, nobody cared about the idea for another three years and then in 2013 — just after the world, allegedly, ended — Sony released its first wow-factor phone in years: the Xperia Z, for $630.

It had an IP rating, but it doesn’t matter which one, because all of the commercials were just based around how tough and water-resistant the phone was. And, I guess people loved that, because the Xperia Z series carried on for quite some time after.

And then, it took Samsung only two more years to realize that this is probably, maybe something that people want. So with the Galaxy S5, from 2015 when it cost $660, Sammy added an IP67 rating. And this was the start of a beautiful, long-lasting friendship between Galaxy phones and IP ratings — with a minor pause, dedicated to the Galaxy S6 — because they have them to this day.

So how is this important? Check this out (yes, read that with the voice of Keanu Reeves):

The iPhone 6, which was the iPhone of then, did not have any IP rating whatsoever.

Did the iPhone 7, which followed the next year, have an IP rating?

You bet.

Now, use the power of logic that you’ve earned through playing 90s adventure games to tie all of that knowledge into the conclusion that Samsung pretty much led the charge when it came to standardizing IP ratings for flagship phones.

I mean, in 2015, Samsung led the industry with a 22.4% market share. Apple? Had 16.1%, but the company was about to see growth that is still going steady to this day. So could we very well say that adding IP protection ratings aided Apple in gaining the lead? We can’t say for certain, but it was likely a contributing factor.

But only after Samsung had proven that it was, indeed, what consumers wanted.

Samsung is trying to take back something it gave us

And, it’s simple really: It doesn’t really work like that. You can’t just ask people what they want, give it to them and then take it away for no obvious reason. Even children are smart enough to hate their parents after something like that!

But wait, this is the moment when we need to actually pause and try to be objective. Is actually the existence of the (all hail the) hinge a good enough reason to justify the non-existence of a dustproof rating for Samsung’s latest foldable smartphone?

Well, I don’t know, I’m not an engineer! I’m a dude with a dusty laptop and I want to buy a thing that looks cool to use it for cool things that I find cool! Should  I know? Yes, but if I’m responding like this — during work hours, in this article, considering my job — then Samsung hasn’t really done a convincing job of explaining it to me, now has it?

But then you also have the existence of the latest Motorola Razr Plus with its IP52 rating that proves that dustproofing a foldable is possible. But we want that number higher and by we, I mean me and speaking of me: I believe that Samsung has the experience and resources to research how that will happen.

But here is pulling the pin, but in words: it should have happened with the Z Fold 5. Because at this point, the battle is absolutely about getting these foldables in people’s hands and homes. And those are Sammy’s words, not mine!

And now, riddle me this: when was the last time that you’ve seen a person with a phone without a cracked screen? Because, beyond us techies, most people accept that as “the norm”. And the simple fact of the matter is that a beautiful, feature-packed beast like the Z Fold 5 simply won’t survive a week in the hands of users like that.

Sure, I’m not a part of that crowd. I’m the type of nut who double-sleeves his Magic cards and carries them in a box, inside a box. Double screen protectors? Yes. I do that. But still, that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with “My cat randomly raising dust through just being a cat”, possibly murdering a flagship foldable from 2023, which costs $1,799.



PAUSE: the Samsung XCover 6 Pro Tactical Edition — from 2023, by the way — comes with not only an IP68 rating, but also a MIL-STD-810H, which despite its name, isn't an STD but a military standard that proves that you can use your phone as a throwable weapon if need be.

So, if Samsung can sell me a monster like this for just $599.99, then why can't the transformer phone from the future with the three screens, which costs $1,799 have at least half of that protection? Is it just because of the (all hail the) hinge that we’re part of this foldable paradox?

I don’t know. But I do know what the worst part about all of this is.

By now, I have an alternative for a foldable I’d get. I’ve also found possibly the best rugged phone of all time. But I haven’t found a single phone that is nearly as capable, when it comes to multitasking and productivity, as the Z Fold 5.

So, Samsung, thanks for another beautifully designed invite, but I won’t be joining the church of the (all hail the) hinge this year either. Better luck next time!