The time for a Tesla phone is now or never

Carpe diem, Elon Musk. Seize the day. Now's the time to finally release that Tesla phone you've been teasing for years.

I know you're on your way to Mars, but I need you back on Earth for a second – that promised phone is already overdue.

Chances are, Elon Musk can't hear me over the sound of the Starship rocket's revving engines.

Anyway, this shouldn't stop us from discussing what a Tesla smartphone could (and should) be like.

The billionaire once again has sparked interest for the mythical handset with the familiar "T" logo. He was once again visiting Joe Rogan's podcast and, among other things, the two discussed (briefly) the possible Tesla phone.

Tesla’s CEO hinted that while the idea hasn’t been dismissed, the company would only create a phone if circumstances required it.

Elon outlined the specific conditions that might push Tesla to develop its own phone, such as potential issues with security or censorship if companies like Apple and Google were to implement restrictive policies.

I say: no. Don't wait for Apple and Google to screw up (many would argue that they've done that long ago already, but that's another topic for another day).

The time is now. Do it now.

Why now?

Elon was an important part of Trump's campaign and rallies (at least in the final months). Of course, that came at a price – Elon and his projects (X, for example) were attacked left and right, up and right.

Today, Elon has all the momentum he needs. He's riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave – "the biggest" and "most beautiful" wave in the world, as his candidate of choice would put it. I mean, it's pretty darn respectable that the Starship booster was caught in mid-air with the astonishing "chopsticks" technique.

However, it also helps that the Republican party wiped the floor with the Democrats. Millions of people are in ecstasy over that fact and – forgive me for sounding too mercantile – are ready to buy anything related to the victory.

So, if Elon decides to make and sell a certain thing – a phone, to be precise – it would sell like hotcakes.

It's just the way the human mind works, I suppose.

What would (should, could) the Tesla phone be like?

This phone might come with a single pre-installed app… and that app would be X.

That much I know.

Joking aside, the Tesla phone could be a whole different animal. If Elon Musk is ready to dive deep (and not just splash around), the Tesla phone should come with its own operating system and not rely on Android.

Otherwise, I'm afraid, it would be a major bummer if the Tesla phone came with Android on board. After all, Elon himself pointed out that the Tesla phone would come only if Apple or Google started to misbehave. Android is a core part of Google, so it won't make sense to equip your new phone with that OS, if you have fundamental problems with the Big G.

I'd bet that the Tesla phone would be heavy on AI and its AI assistant would be a grouchy little fella by the name of Grok, launched on X a year ago.

Of course, the Tesla phone would come with an alternative search engine on board and that could be one of the current Google alternatives out there. DuckDuckGo, maybe?

Joking aside, the Tesla phone would certainly play an important role in the Tesla ecosystem. It could function as the ultimate car control key, garage door opener, and even a Powerwall monitor. With a few swipes, you’d adjust your Tesla car's climate, set autopilot routes, or manage solar power for your entire home. A Tesla phone would turn into a master remote, merging every piece of tech under the Tesla banner.

In terms of design, I expect "grande" things out of the Tesla phone. "Grande" success or failure – only time will tell, but the Tesla phone won't go unnoticed. Just like the Cybertruck.

Picture it: a smartphone with the same sleek lines (I'm no longer talking about Cybertruck, but the regular Tesla), audacious innovations, and, dare I say, slight eccentricities in the spirit of SpaceX's rockets. Perhaps it would even include Tesla’s bulletproof glass that could withstand the occasional impact with a sidewalk.

The battery on that thing would be simply amazing, if Tesla's engineers are involved in the project, I imagine. Perhaps it could have rapid charging through Tesla's Supercharger network – or even a solar panel on the back for slow charging wherever you go.

What about Starlink connectivity?

I saved the best for the last.

Actually, the time for a Tesla phone will come when Starlink is integrated into the phone itself.

Imagine that!

The Tesla phone could go beyond the typical limitations of measly earthly internet providers. A device that does not merely hop between Wi-Fi and cellular networks but instead connects directly to Starlink, the SpaceX satellite constellation. The Tesla phone wouldn’t simply have "coverage" – no, no! Much more than that.

It would have "universal" coverage. This means, theoretically, you could scroll through your favorite cat videos from the deepest jungle, the open ocean, or the very summit of Mount Everest.

And of course, if humanity's colonies on Mars are up and running by then, Starlink could bridge Earth and Mars.

Finally, a phone that lets you call your family across two planets without a roaming fee. I hate roaming fees.