Is Meta making the products of my dreams? Because setting up a Quest 3 headset is still a nightmare!

I’ve got a few Quest headsets under my belt, yeah. I can totally understand why they are some of the best VR headsets around and, to be frank: I’d totally recommend one out of this series to anyone interested in becoming a VR enthusiast.

And along with that recommendation, I’d get them an aspirin and a glass of water too, because they’re gonna need those in order to survive the setup process.

Here’s the deal: Meta, you can’t do this. You don’t get to be an industry-leading trendsetter in the realm of XR and then bundle that in with the most unintuitive hardware setup experience, while still flaunting that “we need to get more people into VR”.

Because you’re not going to achieve that by asking people for their credit card info out of the blue, Zuck.

Thanks, Meta, for the memorable setup experience

Just for the record: setup is what you do when you first boot up a new device. It’s what you go through every time when you get a new phone, for example. And offering a good process is important, because everyone is bound to hate it, no matter how good it is.

I mean, you’d like to get to using your device sooner rather than later, right? And this “setup” thing is always there to get in your way!

So, when you’ve purchased a piece of tech that looks and feels as if it’s come straight out of the future that pop culture promised us, you must offer a seamless setup experience. But what do I mean by that? Well, it has to be:

• Clean: All the UI elements must be easy to understand and follow along with.
• Neat: No clutter and straight to the point, getting people in as soon as possible.
• Functional: Everything must be in a logical, working condition from the user’s POV.

Now, feel free to note these down on your phone and see if you can place a checkmark next to each one before this article is over.

To be clear, I’ll need to give examples in order to best highlight the issues that I’ve encountered with Meta’s setup process. Hence, I’ll be providing those as experienced while working on my Meta Quest Pro review.

The app, the other app and the long cable that doesn’t work with one of those

This is the part where you hear a VHS tape rewinding. And if you don’t know what VHS is, then imagine weird DJ sounds.

So I’m sitting at my desk and I’ve gotten the headset out of the box and strapped it to my face. Progress! Inside, I’ve ended up in this modern tropical region, where I’ve also lit a fire for some reason. I initiate startup. I connect to my WiFi network.

The headset sends me to get my phone and… continue setup there? Excuse me?

Now, as previously established: I’ve been known to Quest a bit, so I already have the Oculus PC app installed, so I attempt to sidestep this prompt and move on to connecting the headset to my PC in order to wrap up the setup there.

But Zuck went “Nuh-uh” and didn’t let me do that.

At face value, Meta offering two apps — one for your PC and one for your phone — makes total sense. Powerhouse headsets like the Quest 3 are total beasts in standalone mode and requiring a PC connection to set it up would be a dumb move.

But do you know what else is a dumb move? Not offering the people that’ve paid you good money the choice to pick how they’d rather connect their brand new headset.

Then again, we do know why: Meta isn’t bundling Link Cables with products like the Quest Pro and the Quest 3. Those insanely long USB-C to USB-C cables are for charging only. And obviously, this is reason enough for Meta to assume that you don’t own any other cables too.

At this point, the Quest app, along with all of the content I have installed through it on my PC, starts feeling like dead weight and that feeling is only going to get worse as this story unfolds.

Be a good boy, get your phone, figure it out!

I do appreciate it, Quest Pro, that you’ve enabled passthrough for me. Not that I mean to hurt your feelings, but it’s nowhere near as crisp and clear as I’d need in order for me to complete your masters’ bidding and get through the Oculus app setup process.

So, let me paint you a picture here: the headset is effectively my own, personal dunce cap, sitting at the top of my head, as I need to constantly switch back and forth between it and my phone, as both of them want things from me.

Well, at least I didn’t have to create a Meta account, as with this approach to things, it probably would’ve taken a week or so. That’s when the Permission Nation attacked, requiring me to grant Location and Bluetooth access — something, which can't happen on the PC version, mind you.

Now, with me flexing an early Android 14 install on my Pixel 6a, I can pick whether I want to grant precise location access or just my general area. WIth the second being obviously safer — especially with Zuck on the line — I choose it and decline Bluetooth access, as I’m hip enough to know that my headset and my phone don’t ever need to communicate through Bluetooth.

And immediately after, the app refuses to work.

Ugh. Okay.

• I enabled Bluetooth, but got the same result.
• I restarted my phone, but it wouldn’t budge.
• I reinstalled the Oculus app, but to no avail.

… I went back and added precise Location access, while keeping Bluetooth off, and that did the trick.

Is this an issue with app functionality or a clever way for the app to confuse you into giving it the user data it wants? Food for thought.

After the app was done with getting to know my preferences regarding color of underwear and my precise brand of choice when it comes to mayonnaise, I finally got to select the Quest Pro from a list of headsets and all that remained was for me to tap “Connect”.

Next up: a thought experiment

Let’s say that you’re happily married and your wife is about to give birth. You’re by her side — as you should be! — and holding on to the bedframe of the portable bed, as hospital corridors are flying by. You decide to snap a pic to commemorate the occasion.

You bring up your phone and Zuck himself literally pops into the picture from your left with a big smile on his face, saying “Hey pal! Thanks for using Facebook. Would you mind giving me your PayPal info so we can set up a payment method for you?”.

Not a moment after I pressed the sought-after “Connect” button, Meta decided that — and I can’t make this stuff up! — this is the most opportune time to bring up a screen, which nicely invites me to lend the company access to my payment method too.

Now, I’m not saying that setting up a Meta Quest headset is anything like giving birth, though both can be quite the visceral experiences and in my case, a lot of panting and sweat, and pain were also involved at this point.

What I am trying to say is that Meta’s inability to perceive the concept of “common sense” is staggering, no matter the circumstance.

And, just to make things extra clear: I wasn’t making any sort of purchase at the time. The purchase already happened and the headset is on top of my head. I was just trying to connect the thing to my phone, so that I could move on to connecting it to my computer.

Meta, I don’t know if you’re reading this, but if you’re ever wondering why people are having trust issues regarding your services: the reason should be pretty clear from this example.

Well, at least the screen allowed me to shoo it away and — hallelujah! — the Quest Pro was finally on. And then it started updating, asking me kindly to leave it charging on the dock for about fifteen minutes, during which I played Flappy Bird on my Pebble Watch.

When the headset rang out that it was ready, I had realized that my face had gotten numb from having the headset sitting on top of my head during setup. As such, I decided to take a break before returning to the Metaverse and helping my virtual wife give virtual birth to my virtual child.

Oh, and of course, I never needed the app again and I uninstalled it. Unfortunately, Meta now knows that I love “Hellmann's” mayo and I’m afraid what Zuck may do with that information.

Is this some new brand of being excited for a product that I’m not aware of?

Setup should be forgettable by design

Thank you for tuning in to my tale of horror, provided almost entirely by the Quest headset setup process. Now, after going through the story with me, can we finally agree that this fiasco is unacceptable in a world where some of the best phones exist?

Apple nailed the concept of device setup ages ago and it’s peak on the iPhone 15. The Galaxy S23 is so foolproof that you can’t go wrong with it. Well, the Pixel 8 has a bit more to learn about the ideal setup experience, but that being said: it’s not a negative one.

Zuck, as much as you want us all to sell our couches and cars and move into the metaverse, that isn’t going to happen. And in the real world? The big boys spend time crafting a clean, neat and functional set up experience.

After all, this is the true initial impression that your device will make. And you know what, Meta? I think I’ve got a point in saying all of this, because not every household has a Quest 2 or Pro, but almost every person in every home has a smartphone.

Sure, if Meta fixes the setup experience on the Quest, the adoption rate won’t instantly skyrocked by 25%. In order for something like that to happen, a lot more third party effort will be required too, like getting more apps and games on to the Quest store.

But the way you become a trendsetter is through hard work, consistency and improvement. And that last bit? It doesn’t only mean inserting a beefier CPU in your headset, but improving the software side of things too.

Don’t get me wrong: the Quest 3 is absolutely the best consumer-grade headset on the market right now and it’s way better than the Quest 2. But in terms of software and OS, things haven’t improved as much as they should have, at least judging by what my colleague Rado experience during his Quest 3 review time with the headset. 

Or at least, not in the ways that people will notice. And consumers? Ah, well they happen to be people, Zuck. And people like it when things are clean, neat and functional. And, preferably, when they don’t ask for your credit card info as soon as possible.